He can get perfect bokeh with any lens and any aperture... (Sorry Tim...'here we go' is another beer commercial). ;
He gets close-ups of wild bears... with a 28mm lens. His contact lenses are circular polarizers. He uses Canon L glass... on disposable cameras. His point and shoot has an integrated laser sight. His binoculars have tilt-shift lenses. He shoots film... in digital. He once shot a portrait of the Mona Lisa... which now hangs in the Lovre. He is... the most interesting photographer in the world. I don't always shoot for money. But when I do, I prefer to be paid in Krugerands. Stay focused, my friends.
He has a 300mm fisheye lens that he uses to photograph space shuttles. ; Sent from my thunderbolt using Tapatalk
His HDR shots include the infra-red and ultra-violet ranges. He shoots desert landscapes... under water. His shutters don't lag... they anticipate. He prevents blinking and red-eye in his photos... through hypnosis. Instead of a tripod, he uses a caddy with a beanbag hat. His name is Tim. When he shoots lightning, he doesn't wait for it... it waits for him. B&H wanted to set up a camera store in his home for a TV commercial... but they couldn't, because he already had one. When he shoots a Nascar race, the cars slow down for him. He views football games not from a skybox... but from the SkyCam. Criminal suspects don't cover their faces when he points his camera... they pose. He is... the most interesting photographer in the world. I don't always shoot sporting events. But when I do, I prefer to referee. Stay focused, my friends.
He uses ISO 12800 in the middle of the afternoon. ; He drops his camera wherever he wants because it knows better than to break. ; He cleans his lenses with sandpaper and his sensor with a hairdryer. He plays call of duty using his cameras LCD screen. His tripod only needs 2 legs. sent from my HTC Thunderbolt
I have to laugh, I only saw the Dos XX commercial this morning in my hotel room. ; These are even more funny now! ; Keep em comin! Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
He takes pictures of himself in compromising positions. ; His 4/3rds is really 8/6ths. ; He got a job as a professional funeral photographer. ; He uses noise reduction because his photos are too loud. ; His wide angle shots have surround sound. He goes to the studio and buys other peoples pictures. ; He takes life sized photos of dwarves and gnomes. He has full color digital photos from the last supper. He used Photoshop before computers were even invented. He captures high def video... On a photocopier. He uses 3d glasses on 2d pictures. ; He captures amazing photos of sea life... At red lobster. ; He can xray your arm with his cell phone camera. ; He shoots nude photos fully clothed. ; sent from my HTC Thunderbolt
He can use green box auto mode and still control the settings...with his mind. He can use F2.8 and be there. Nikon designed the World's only zooming prime lenses just for him. Dust doesn't get on his sensor...it wouldn't dare.
